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The Granger Machine

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QweefZilLa
Death.Ryuk
DucTape
KingNickolas
Mr. Pirate
Menace13
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The Granger Machine Empty The Granger Machine

Post  Menace13 Sat Jul 31, 2010 5:53 pm

*Steals granger machine from Ethereal*
I have the Granger Machine.

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Post  Mr. Pirate Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:40 pm

I don't get it. I always thought grangers came from Advanced Storks.
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Post  KingNickolas Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:45 pm

*Asks Ethereal what it is*
*pushes menace into a granger pool full of grangers*
*he doesn't know which one is the machine*
*I then take it as it falls outa his hands onto the concrete outside of the granger pool*
*I walk away calmly*
I HAVE THE GRANGER MACHINE NAOW!! muahahaa Twisted Evil
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Post  Mr. Pirate Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:47 pm

Oh, it doesn't create grangers, but is rather a robot granger designed to infiltrate the hive and blow up while cuddling the Overmind's suspicious crevice next to it's horns!
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW. Suspect
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Post  KingNickolas Sat Jul 31, 2010 7:10 pm

*Smacks Pirate over the head with the granger machine.*

"PLAY THE DAM GAME YOU IDIOT"
*Laughs hysterically and jumps into an ultra-safe bomb shelter*

Naow nobody can get me! Muahaha
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Post  Mr. Pirate Sat Jul 31, 2010 7:17 pm

*removes hat, rubs, head, puts on hat again*
*swings through scene on rope, knife in mouth, grabs machine with one hand*
Yar! I be usin' this contraption fer meself, now! Yarhar!
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Post  KingNickolas Sat Jul 31, 2010 7:22 pm

*As pirate flys off with what he thinks is the Granger machine i take out my blaster and shoot the vine as he swing strait over a pool of dretches, that's full of dretches.*
*He falls in crying in agony*
*I walk past him calmly without a scratch on me, the Granger machine tucked safely under my arm*
*I open the door to my ultra-safe bomb-shelter, but just as i am about to close the door i shout out to the world*

"The GRANGER MACHINE IS MINE NOW ANY FOREVER MUAHAHAHAAAA!!!"

*i close the door* BOOM
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Post  Mr. Pirate Sat Jul 31, 2010 7:34 pm

*Is number 453457345894357 on spawn queue*
*1 node left*
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
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Post  Menace13 Sat Jul 31, 2010 8:43 pm

*Tries to shoot the door down with a Xael. Bad idea*
*Pulls out a PAINSAW and cuts the door down. Oh wait, the painsaw doesn't cut. It electrocutes*
*Pulls out an advanced dretch. Wait whut? OH NO AIDS!!!*
*Pulls out a basilisk*
*Has the basilisk pick the lock*
*Lucifer cannon pwnz kingnickolas*

I HAVE THE GRANGER MACHINE!!!

Info on the granger machine: It is a machine in Ethereal that makes granger taunt sounds when the button is pressed.

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Post  DucTape Sat Jul 31, 2010 9:27 pm

I ask you politely for a turn with the Granger machine. As the gentleman you are, you kindly indulge my request. I am most entertained with my newfound grangery pal for hours on end.
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Post  KingNickolas Sat Jul 31, 2010 9:57 pm

*Come out of spawn queue enraged*
*Gets an advanced tyrant to pick up the armory and throw it at ductape*
*ductape dies*
*I send off the Tyrant to kill menace*
*I walk back to my bomb shelter, and install a bank safe lock for the door.*
Hehehe
I have the granger machine now.
grr grr grr grr grr grr Granger Granger Granger Granger Granger Bouncing Granger
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Post  DucTape Sat Jul 31, 2010 10:05 pm

Fortunately for me, before I died I thought to include a clause in my will for the fate of this machine of wonders.
My lawyer walks up to the safe door and reads you said clause.
"And shall I be killed, by a armament vending station thrown from the claws of the largest alien currently known to man, my Granger machine shall be buried along with me, and sealed with concrete, and a number of locks, seen only before on cartoon characters doors."

As a law abiding citizen, you have no choice but to bow to the power of my will. (pun intended)

My corpse now has the machine.
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Post  KingNickolas Sat Jul 31, 2010 10:19 pm

*Luckily for me though, while i was in my bomb shelter I decided to make hundreds upon hundreds of Granger machine copies, so the lawyer took a fake copy*
*The granger machine that the lawyer took was in fact a time bomb copy type that was set to blow up in exactly 4 months."
Good by ductape's corpse!!
Muahahaahaaa king now = Tyrant
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Post  DucTape Sat Jul 31, 2010 10:28 pm

After I respawn I pay my lawyer a visit. We draft up documentation proving that you are not, in fact, a suitable guardian for a Granger, in or out of a machine.

"kingnickolas has been proven to be an unfit guardian for alien life forms for the following reasons-
1. Attempts murder frequently.
2. Convinces aliens to do terrible things.
3. Has kidnapped the granger more than once.
4. Stores the granger around fakes, some of which can explode.
5. He smells funny.
and as such, the Granger machine shall be returned to DucTape"

The document was approved in a civil court, and state officials searched through the machines, testing for fakes, and returned the original to me.
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Post  KingNickolas Sat Jul 31, 2010 10:32 pm

*I take over the government by making more granger machines and selling millions of them for millions of dollars.*
*I sue Ductape for attempted theft, he is proven guilty and sentenced to life in prison."
Twisted Evil Hehehe
*pets his pet Granger while using the Granger machine."
Grr Bouncing Granger Grr Bouncing Granger Grr Bouncing Granger Grr Granger
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Post  DucTape Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:22 pm

From jail, I begin to write political literature. Through undisclosed connections, my writings leak out into the real world. The people start to like my works, and stage a full sale revolution, overthrowing your corrupt government, and putting into place a new government. The firs act of theirs is to release their philosophical founder from prison, and return all of my possessions, including the Granger Machine.
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Post  KingNickolas Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:48 pm

Unfortunately for you duc, the revolutionists also took a fake Granger Machine. So as they were handing you your fake Granger machine, i sent my newly-found alien army into the newly-found state called duc-land. (named after you)
The revolutionist's numbers were great, but the aliens were greater. Thus starts the Tremulous war, named so because of the shock-wave that it caused throughout the universe. Whole planets were destroyed, and even the neivus trading center was destroyed. I myself being a very very rich man, simply sit at the side of every battle, a simple spectator, the battle now out of my hands (too many lives were lost for any peace to come). Unscratched
But thankfully the Granger Machine still sits at my side. Being won in the very first battle of this epic war.
My base is in the Paper-Mario land. On a map called Nintendo land.
Come get me if you dare!
- yours truly
king <-king
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Post  DucTape Sun Aug 01, 2010 12:32 am

I didn't want to do this, but you forced my hand. I tell your mother what you did. She gives you a stern lecture, and makes you ashamed of yourself. You give back the machine, but are still grounded. Shame on you, stealing machines and starting inter-planetary wars.
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Post  KingNickolas Sun Aug 01, 2010 8:21 am

Lol

I'm not sure how to reply to this...

Anyways my mum was killed by one of your troops.
I am as of now sending a army of godzilla-granagers to your house to stomp on it.
*DucTApe is made into a smoothie by King's Grangers.*
Sorry duc, but before you spawn, i just wanted to tell you something. 3 Tyrants are node camping in your base! Sooorrrrryyyyy- Razz
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Post  Menace13 Sun Aug 01, 2010 8:33 am

Since king never said he stole the machine, I node-port in and steal it before he can grab it. MAH MACHINEZ! I hire some Grenadier Grangers and Bazooka Basilisks to protect me and it.

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Post  KingNickolas Sun Aug 01, 2010 8:48 am

OMG i forgot!
I made so many copies of the Granger machine that even I lost track of the real one!
But no worries, they all have the same function as the original.
Granger machine copies for everyone!
There doesnt have to be any more fighting!
We can all stop!
There can be peace between the three races of Terren, Zerg, and Protoss!!
*While menace is looking at the above paragraph I secretly snatch the Granger machine while he isn't looking*
*Begins process of burning all copies of Granger machine.*
*finally realizes that Ethereal is a map not a person...*
I have the Granger machine again!!!
And i stole your teammates menace. They're mine now!
Muahahaahahaha
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Post  Death.Ryuk Sun Aug 01, 2010 9:14 am

But I kidnap your mom and ask for an exchange: your mom for the granger machine. Say no and she will die, say yes, and she MIGHT! live. And while you are busy thinking I come around the back and steal the granger machine. It`s mine now bwahahahahha!

Nick WTF! are you 99 years old? affraid
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Post  KingNickolas Sun Aug 01, 2010 9:20 am

My mum was killed in the war idiot
*I slip you a fake granger machine so you'll THINK you'll have the granger machine*
Now Die!
*I slip out a death note and write you name repetitively*
Crap I don't know your name!
No matter, I'll just send my very own shinigami to kill you!! Muahaha
Prepare for a Death Notice!


(It's my birthday Wink )


Last edited by kingnickolas on Sun Aug 01, 2010 10:08 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post  Death.Ryuk Sun Aug 01, 2010 9:23 am

But, you didn`t know that Shinigamis would never kill a human to help another, else they`d die...So while you are busy trying to convince the Shinigami to write my name, I stun you and steal the granger machine.

My precious! It came to me! lol! bounce Twisted Evil
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Post  KingNickolas Sun Aug 01, 2010 10:05 am

By shinigami i meant a tyrant!
And about 2 seconds after you got my precious granger machine my shinigami-tyrant mix thing killed you!! Twisted Evil MUHAHAHAHA
Tyrant Granger Tyrant Granger Bouncing Granger Tyrant
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